PARENTING AND SELF-CARE by Wendy Pugh, LISW

Day after day I hear people tell me that they are “stressed out”, “exhausted”, “at the end of my rope” and even “about to lose it”. Then, in the same breath, these same people tell me that there is nothing they can do about it, because, “I have to take care of my kids; they come first”. While I agree that kids are at the top of most priority lists, I disagree that there is nothing these parents can do about their stress and exhaustion.

​I fully believe that parents have to take care of themselves first. Many of you will argue this point with me saying that you “don’t have time” because there is too much to do for the kids. I’m here to tell you that if you continue to ignore your own needs and focus only on others, you will eventually “lose it”.

Have you ever tried to pour water from an empty pitcher? It doesn’t work! You are the pitcher. If you have nothing in you, then you have nothing to give. Self-care is the key! You have to “refill” yourself before you can give to your children or to anyone else. Self-care is not the same thing as being selfish. It is okay to take time for yourself. It doesn’t have to be anything big or spectacular, and it doesn’t have to take a lot of time.

Here are some simple ways you can engage in self-care in order to fill yourself back up with the energy you need to continue being the great parent you are:

• Go to a local coffee shop for your favorite latte and read a book for 30-60 minutes;
• Take an art, sewing, candle making, wood-working, or writing class;
• Go for a walk by yourself, or take the dog if you’d like;
• Spend an hour having lunch with a friend;
• Take an uninterrupted, hot bubble bath;
• Go to a movie by yourself;
• Take a midday 45 minute nap;
• Go to the gym for a workout.
• Go to Yoga;
• Meditate...

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There are a thousand more things you can come up with on your own, but I hope these are a few ideas to get you on your way to better self-care so that you can be the parent you want to be!