Ways to Help Kids Who Struggle with Self-Control by Brittany McFarland, LPCC

Self-control, or willpower, is a key aspect of nearly every component of life. This is especially true for young adults and children. With this in mind, here are a few strategies the parents and caregivers can use with children who struggle with self control.

First Strategy -- Give words to feelings:
Feelings can be scary to kids and may fuel strong reactions in the moment. Including your child to problem solve what they are feeling can be positive and helpful. You can prompt them and ask:

• * How do they feel? Give them options of feeling words or pictures of feelings.


• * Where do they feel the emotion in their body? Give examples of physical reactions, i.e., muscle tightness in the chest, shoulders, stomachaches, holding their breath, etc.


• * What caused this reaction?

Second Strategy -- Identify the trigger to their emotion:
Observe situations and determine if those situations are tough for your child to cope, i.e., big crowds, being taken away from electronics, asking them to complete a task or transitions, etc.

Third Strategy -- Self Soothe:
Actively participate with your child to show them support and encouragement. You can do this with the following actions:

• * Directing and/or advising children to take breaks.


• * Taking long deep breaths.


• * Rocking their bodies back and forth or have them go to a rocking chair.


• * Describing their 5 senses to refocus their thoughts and feeling:
  • - 1 thing you can taste
  • - 2 things you can smell
  • - 3 things you can touch
  • - 4 things you can hear
  • - 5 things you can see